I hope you’ve had a brilliant start into 2k19, full of promises,hopes and wishes come true.
For my part, I’ve decided to let 2k19 become my year of production and activity in terms of writing. While my poetry collection is in the making and the plotting for my next novel continues, I’ve had the desire to publish meanwhile – and to let it be rather academical this time.
See, I’ve had these papers I wrote for uni lying around for ages, as does each of my fellow students. I do think however that we’ve put so much energy in these texts, so much dedication, time and focus; wouldn’t it be a shame if only our professors got to read it? That is, if they’re good and readable, of course. That’s up for you to decide, I reckon, but after a friend of mine told me about her published essays, I played around with the thought for a while, too. At first I decided against it. There was a certain anxiety in the thought of publishing essays, since they are a completely different type of exposure than what I’m used to.
See, when I publish novels and other creative texts, of course, each time I’m anxious, too. Will my writing reach people? Will people want to read more? Will people be disappointed or annoyed? It’s just such a vulnerability we’re showing as publishing authors. I’ve published 100% of my inner life, thoughts and feelings, for ages over a blog that’s mostly unknown to my friends and acquaintances nowadays, and I do my best to keep it that way, because it’s just the overly personal and dramatic emotional rollercoaster of a teenager. During that time, however, I knew that the people reading me where the ones who loved my writing and identified themselves with my ideas and thoughts and feelings and experiences, so it didn’t feel like being vulnerable to the public; rather like connecting with strangers and finding beauty in that.
But to actually put a book out there? To price it and thus define its worth? That’s different. It’s not just my thoughts and feelings any longer, it’s a craft, a craft which I haven’t fully mastered yet and will probably only do so after tons of years of practice. Even though my writing is still defined by emotional focus and streams of consciousness, now it’s also my storycrafting, my plotting and my worldbuilding that’s out there in the world for people to judge.
When I selfpublished my first novel, I was insanely nervous. I thought nobody would even buy it, thus neglecting its worth before others could do it. I told myself not to have any expectations, to just see it as a milestone of my life, and to make it about my opinion, not others. It doesn’t fully work that way, though. Almost a year later I am fully convinced I’ve written a first novel I’d totally read myself, which is the biggest compliment I could make myself; but even more importantly, it was a first novel (at least my first novel with professional intention; I’ve written two others before that I just can’t let anyone read because they’re too personal). Being a first novel implies it’s just the beginning of one’s journey of storycrafting, that there’s a lot to learn, a lot of mistakes that will be made, but which will only be made through the process of publishing and facing public opinion.
You see, publishing academic essays is a whole other level. I’m asking myself many questions, such as: Is my writing style professional and objective enough? Do I at times fall back into storytelling and mess it up? Are my arguments interesting and complex enough to form a thesis that is credible? How do I come across, my opinions, my logic, my knowledge?
When I say “I’m writing”, what I usually mean, is, I write novels and emotional short stories and poetry flooded with feelings; what I usually don’t mean is, I write academic papers for uni – because everybody does it, so it’s not special, right? – or I write newspaper articles – because those don’t really have impact on people – ecetera. But that limits one’s own portfolio down to one literary genre. I’m just thinking, maybe we should get rid of these limitations we impose on ourselves. Let’s write and publish what we want, let’s explore every genre, every literary form of text, and let’s not shame ourselves into questioning our thoughts, motives and feelings, just because they’re out there for people to grab instead of being locked in our own heads where they can’t be held accountable.
“Normativity & Ideology” is the first volume in a, probably, 3 book essay collection, out there in all its vulnerability for you to grab and judge. It is available via Amazon as a paperback I’ve definitely had fun designing (because non-fictional texts can be aesthetic too, aye?), as an ebook and is part of Kindle Unlimited and free for you to read if you’ve signed up for the programme.
If you like, let me know your thoughts via my contact form!
See you soon —
Deconstructing the Given: Normativity & Ideology. (2019)
Essays on Identity and Construction
MF Essays, Band 01
„Normativity & Ideology“ contains two essays picking up on the idea of a fabricated social identity of the individual but also of social groups, as presented by different scholars. It therefore analyses normativity as a technique of power in a socio-cultural sense; and it further analyses the ideological construction of social groups through newspapers in a linguistic approach. It brings together ideas of popular scholars such as Judith Butler, Jerome Bruner, Michael Foucault or Paul Baker.
Englisch, 103 Seiten
KU Free | 9,99€ | 9,99€ on Amazon